To subscribe, please email XXXXX

I got an email from a friend:
It's that time of year again!
I lost my phone Monday night.
I blame Flosstradamus.

No need to point out how often this happens
and no need to explain the merits of bluetoothing my contacts to my email.

I already know.

My number is the same, 773 XXX XXXX, as always.

Do you guys think I should get an iPhone?
I'm too clumsy, though.
We'll see.


Now that I have all of your attention I will let you know how I am.

I am still in New York.
In Brooklyn with Britnei, Lance and Loren.
I work at a bitchin Italian company called AXXXXX and they are totally RAD!
I just turned 28.
I give sewing lessons to a girl named Pamela on Wednesdays.
Pamela is making me a costuming website.
I have an interview tomorrow with a dude to make a medusa costume. AWESOME!
I am going to Colorado in September.
I am considering moving there for season.
I want to go back to school and am looking into taking the LSAT.
In a year I want to move to San Francisco with or without Ben and Maya.
I think I want to be a lawyer. Joseph and Brody inspired me.
I am *almost* out of debt! God Damn Sallie Mae! Stop breathing down my neck!
I still party a lot.
I thought that would stop, but I realized New York doesn't want it too.
I took drum lessons for 2 months.
But I don't have a drum set.
And my teacher and I got into a fight, so.
I will resume that whenever I'm taking breaks from my LSAT cram sessions and teaching sewing and working for rad europeans.
But I will have a groovy band some day.
I have long red hair now instead of short red hair, sans bangs.
I am still tall and lanky. Gangly!
I am single and loving it but am interested in settling down once I am a powerhouse lawyer who makes her own suits who moonlights as a drummer in a band and lives in California.
I miss my mom and sister and friends in Chicago.
I have made some really awesome friends in New York that has made this whole NY experience a pleasant one.
I am still crazy.
and I still wear my heart on my sleeve.

Love, XXXXX
Honest. Note the calm tone she gives her predictability. Note that she isn't apologizing. There is no room for criticism, because she already knows all the judgy things you want to say and the advice you want to give. Will she really take the LSAT? Know this - she is impulsive and that means she does things on a whim, but she has also done all the other things she impulsed about.

I've been criticized for sending mass emails that look like spam, require text messages, or lead to demoralizing quizzes instead of sending personal responses to emails from friends.
All along, I could have just been TELLING THE TRUTH EN MASSE. FUCK THE BLOGOSPHERE - TELL YOUR TRIALS VIA EMAILZ.

1 comment:

xo said...
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